Question by Evgenis: Can a english speaker correct my letter of motivation please?
Dear Sir or Madam,
The purpose of this letter is not only to describe my educational background, but also to attract your attention on how motivated I am to start a Master of Science programme in Sweden. My interest is mostly focused on Master Programmes, which are based on “Structural Engineering” but also include the field of “Sustainability in Building Design”. This is the reason I have chosen to apply for the Master’s Degree Programmes…This is my letter: ***************************************************************************** starting in autumn 2013.
Recently I have graduated from Democritus University of Thrace, where I have attended a five-year full-time Course, and been awarded with the Master of Science Degree in Civil Engineering (300 ECTS credits) with a grade point average of ****/10. During my period in college, I managed to gain knowledge in all the basic branches of Civil Engineering, such as Structural Engineering, Building Design, Geotechnical Engineering, Transportation Engineering, Hydraulic Engineering, Materials Science and Engineering, Earthquake Engineering, Environmental Engineering and Project Management. Due to my admiration for the analysis and design of large buildings and non-building structures, I decided to be specialized in Structural Engineering (Concrete Structures, Steel Structures, Building Design, Structural Dynamics, Structural Analysis). As a Civil Engineering Student my academic performance has been always outstanding, fact that can be proved not only by my transcript but also by the opinion my professors and my fellow students have about my engineering abilities. That was the reason why I was elected President of the Civil Engineering Class of ***********************. Furthermore, my deep interest for the environmental destruction and the percentage that building constructions contribute to it, gave me motivation about my research and my Master Thesis with title “************************************************************”, in which I ended up with the conclusion, that with a minimum increase in the financial budget of a building project, it can be achieved more than 30% lower energy consumption comparing with conventional buildings.
However, it is not only my experiences at Democritus University of Thrace that prove why i am suitable for a Master of Science program in Sweden. In April of 2012, I also applied and joined the Military School of Engineering, where I spend four months of training in military constructions, and in August 2012 I was nominated as Probationary Reserve Officer in Military Engineering. My studiousness and my test performances were the key factor for graduating first out of my class. The activity that made the best impression on me was the opportunity I had to construct with my bare hands heavy bridges like PMP Floating Bridge and Bailey Bridge. The size, the construction speed and the whole construction process were very enriching experiences for me. Moreover, in the Military School of Engineering I became aware of the capability of all the military construction equipment.
My educational Profile in both Democritus University of Thrace and Military School of Engineering is the result of a continuous effort that started in Middle and Senior High School. During that period of my life, I was rewarded for my merit and my academic performance several times. Every year I was awarded with the Certificate for Academic Excellence and Best Grades. Moreover, I was awarded three times with the Certificate for Excellence in the National Mathematic Competition “Thales” by the Hellenic Mathematical Society, one time with the Certificate “Tilemaxos I. Basbas” for Best Grades in Middle High School Graduation Exams in Rodopi Area and one time in “Lysias” Competition for being between the 450 top rated students among 15000. However, I consider my congratulation by the Minister of Education himself for being between the 300 students with the Best Grades all over Greece to be the most important moment in my whole life.
My firm belief is that “No education is complete without experience”. During the summer seasons of 2007 and 2008, armed with solid understanding of my theoretical education so far, I decided to work in ***************************, the largest construction company in the city of *********************, where I was assigned with the role of the assistant supervisor. Among the constructions I was responsible for were multi-storey buildings, roads and a concrete arch dam. My involvement with such projects gave me motivation and had great impact to me in order to deal with the field of Structural Engineering in the coming years.
Best answer: Please correct my Letter of Motivation
Answer by Apollenaire
Corrections are capitalized.
Dear Sir or Madam,
The purpose of this letter is not only to describe my educational background, but also to BRING TO your attention on how motivated I am to start a Master of Science programme in Sweden. My interest is mostly focused on Master Programmes, which are based on “Structural Engineering” but also include the field of “Sustainability in Building Design”. This is the reason I have chosen to apply for the Master’s Degree Programmes ****************************************… starting in autumn 2013.
Recently I have graduated from Democritus University of Thrace, where I have attended a five-year full-time Course, and been awarded with the Master of Science Degree in Civil Engineering (300 ECTS credits) with a grade point average of ****/10. During my period in college, I WAS EDUCATED in all the basic branches of Civil Engineering, such as Structural Engineering, Building Design, Geotechnical Engineering, Transportation Engineering, Hydraulic Engineering, Materials Science and Engineering, Earthquake Engineering, Environmental Engineering and Project Management. Due to my INTEREST IN the analysis and design of large buildings and non-building structures, I decided to [BE] specialize [d] in Structural Engineering (Concrete Structures, Steel Structures, Building Design, Structural Dynamics, Structural Analysis). As a Civil Engineering Student my academic performance has been always outstanding, A fact that can be proved not only by my transcript but also by the opinion my professors and my fellow students have about my engineering abilities. That IS the reason why I was elected President of the Civil Engineering Class of ***********************. Furthermore, my deep interest IN environmental destruction and HOW building constructions contribute to it, gave me motivation FOR my research and my Master Thesis title D “***************************************… in which I CAME TO the conclusion, that with a minimum increase in the financial budget of a building project, RESTRUCTURED more than 30% lower energy consumption can be achieved comparED with conventional buildings.
However, it is not only my experiences at Democritus University of Thrace that prove why I am suitable for a Master of Science program in Sweden. In April of 2012, I also applied and joined the Military School of Engineering, where I spenT four months of training in military constructions, and in August 2012 I was nominated as Probationary Reserve Officer in Military Engineering. My studiousness and my test performances were the key factor IN graduating first out of my class. The activity that made the best impression on me was the opportunity I had to construct with my bare hands heavy bridges like PMP Floating Bridge and Bailey Bridge. The size, the construction speed and the whole construction process were very enriching experiences for me. Moreover, in the Military School of Engineering I became aware of the capability of all the military construction equipment.
My educational Profile AT both Democritus University of Thrace and THE Military School of Engineering is the result of a continuous effort that started in Middle and Senior High School. During that period of my life, I was rewarded for my merit and my academic performance several times. Every year I was awarded with the Certificate for Academic Excellence and Best Grades. Moreover, I was awarded three times with the Certificate for Excellence in the National Mathematic Competition “Thales” by the Hellenic Mathematical Society, one time with the Certificate “Tilemaxos I. Basbas” for Best Grades in Middle High School Graduation Exams in Rodopi Area and one time in “Lysias” Competition for being between the 450 top rated students among 15000. However, I consider my congratulation by the Minister of Education himself for being AMONG the 300 students with the Best Grades all over Greece to be the most important moment in my whole life.
My firm belief is that “No education is complete without experience”. During the summerS of 2007 and 2008, armed with A solid understanding of my theoretical education so far, I decided to work in ***************************, the largest construction company in the city of *********************, where I was assigned with the role of the assistant supervisor. Among the constructions I was responsible for were multi-STORY buildings, roads and a concrete arch dam. My involvement with such projects gave me motivation and had great impact ON me in TO FOCUS ON the field of Structural Engineering in the coming years.
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